The toughest part about living abroad - Part 2

This has been a tough year.  I've lost my grandma, two uncles, and now my grandfather.  This time, however, when I got news that my grandfather's health was going quickly, I made plans to go home.  This year I am in a better place financially.  That was one of my new year's resolutions - build up enough financial security that when things happen back home, I can make family the priority that it should be.  Sadly, I will not have another conversation with my grandpa, but I will be able to spend time with my family - my mom, grandma, and maybe aunts and uncles and share memories and tales of life with grandpa.  Here are a few that I've shared with close friends here over the past couple of days.

• Tractor rides.  I remember being towed around in the trailer attached to Grandpa's tractor.  It seems he was always, in his final months, driving around in that thing.  It may seem silly...but sometime memories are like that.
• Singing.  I know my mom and her siblings have even more memories than I do but I remember listening to Grandpa sing.  I remember one Thanksgiving where we were all sitting around the dinner table and he just began belting out a Kris Kristofferson song about getting high (say what?!) - my dad chimed in and I just laughed shocked and entertained by the lyrics that my grandfather was singing and then even more so when I learned that it was a real song that my father also knew!  I remember Grandpa singing  along to all his favorite country classics on records, than on tapes...not sure we ever made it to CDs.  I remember my mom and aunts singing along as well.  I remembering thinking they sounded beautiful but that music was kind of boring...but now one of my favorites to sing to is the Best of Patsy Cline...
• Swearing.  For many this probably was not one of Grandpa's best qualities.  As my mom would say, he had the "mouth of a trucker/sailor".  But as a kid, and I'm sure my brother would agree, it was just the best listening to him swear.  He definitely helped me to develop my vocabulary - and some of the expressions he came up with - wowweeee!  Amazing.  I think I control my anger a bit better than he ever did but he definitely taught me that there's something to getting things off your chest - just letting the world know how you feel.  Sometimes it's the best way...I just try to use the f-word a little less when I do it. ;-)
• Squeaky Clean.  It's funny how the memory works.  It doesn't seem possible that I could remember some of these things....anyhow, I remember take baths at my grandparents' house in Bedford, putting on my pajamas, and then heading back to the living room.  My grandpa would always ask me if I was "squeaky clean".  I still use this expression, and always think of him.  

So looking forward to heading home and swapping memories and stories with family.  Missing everyone so much right now but feeling so grateful for being in a place that allows me to head home when I feel the need.  It makes the pain of losing someone, of losing grandpa, a little more bearable.