Say what?!?!

Living a life in two languages has made for some awkward moments and some very funny ones.  My friend Sophia has experienced this as well during her new life in Berlin.  Last night I had dinner and drinks with some wonderful friends and we were sharing stories about students, parents, and ourselves trying to translate ideas from one language to another and we were in tears at the ridiculousness of it all...and perhaps at the perverted twist our minds seem to take at times.  I'm hoping that one of these friends takes up a blog soon to document this running list of lost-in-translation moments, but until then I thought I'd share just a few gems:

1.  Molestar means "to bother".  However, sometimes individuals trying to translate from Spanish to English will say things like "I'm sorry to molest you, but..." or "Kate, Juan is molesting me!!!"  Awkward.  Especially when you have to explain to a 12-year-old why this is perhaps not the best word choice.

2.  I'm really having a difficult time with the "p"-words.  There's pescado, pesado, pecado, picado(a), pedazo,... you get the idea.  Anyhow, after my trip to Santa Marta, I had quite a few bug bites.  In the van on the way to school with about 10 other teachers, I announced "tengo muchos pecados".  The group gave me a quizzical/concerned look, "what?! what do you mean?!" one person asked.  I showed them a bite. "Oh...picados (or maybe it's picadas)".  Pecados = sins, Picados(or picadas...not sure)= bug bites.  Instead of announcing to the number of bug bites I had acquired on my trip, I announced that I have many sins.  Excellent.

3.  Finally, and this is probably the most awkward but also hysterical of all, today I received this e-mail from my dad:
 "The translation button on your last Facebook message comes up as "I am blowjob".  Interesting.  ~Dad"
Say what?!!?

This was the Facebook status my dad was referring to:

"Estoy mamada" is slang for "I'm exhausted".  Mamada, however, comes from the verb mamar which means to suck.  I'd like to think that the slang is saying "I'm sucked of all my energy"... but I'm not totally sure of the origin of the expression.   Still, it seems Google translator doesn't understand Colombian slang... it also doesn't seem to understand that poor translations can make for awkward conversations with family members.  Dear Google, please work on this.  Thanks.  Also, I apologize to anyone else who translated my Facebook status and was disturbed. 

Anyone else faced moments like these in their travels, work with bilingual students, or experience living abroad?  Would love to hear about them!