Staying connected

It's been way too long since I've posted.  I think in my second year there is less that seems new and noteworthy.  Also, after my last post, it seemed strange to go back to simply reporting on my life here in Colombia.  Still, thought I'd share an update on my progress in staying connected to friends and family. I'm not doing super well, but there have been some improvements/discoveries.  In my last post, I said that my resolution for this year was to be better about my finances so that I can make the visits to friends and family for major events and when I feel the need.  This way Colombia won't feel so removed from the rest of the world.  I also, just generally need to be better about staying connected.

So how am I doing?

1) I've already booked the ticket for my friend Shannon's wedding in June.  I will be in the country for about 80 hours in total but it is soooo worth it.  Shannon is my oldest friend, not in age but in terms of the amount of time we've known each other.  We were in the same Kindergarten class and every Wednesday we were placed at the kitchen station together.  We've been friends ever since.  She's asked me to be in her wedding and I cannot wait to be there for the big day!

2) There was also talk about going to Shannon's second wedding in Macedonia (fiance's family is from there) and making it a super vacation by flying to Berlin to visit with my friend Sophia and then traveling by car, train, or plane (still undetermined) to visit a few places between Germany and Macedonia...Croatia for example.  This is still undetermined.  It would be amazing but also very expensive.  I've taken on some part-time work and I'm hoping to sell my car (my 2002 Honda that is sitting in my parents' garage) once springtime has sprung.  I also need to solidify a job for next year.  If these things happen, this trip might be possible.  I need  to visit Sophia and obviously the Macedonia wedding is a once in a lifetime opportunity... so it's still on the table.  If anyone reading this wins the lottery and wants to make someone verrrry happy, I'm your girl. (wink, wink)

3) Google Hangouts!  If you have not tried this yet, you should.  Last night I was able to talk to six of my friends from when I worked in Texas.  It was pure chaos and ridiculousness but it was also AWESOME!  We were all sitting in our own houses, at our computers, video-conferencing.  I could see and here everyone.  It was amazing.  There are lots of fun effects - like adding masks, eyewear, and hats to the videos and sounds to the conversations.  Again, ridiculous.  Hoping we can make this happen more regularly.  It made my week.  Here's a glimpse at what this conversation looked like:

4) Skyping with Mom and Dad.  In the past  I have always Skyped with my Mom and Dad at the same time, but a few weeks ago my Mom decided she was having it anymore.  Now I speak with each of them individually every other week.  It has turned out to be fabulous.  Dad and I talk about Dad and Kate stuff -  TUK (my car), weather, Yankees/Giants, work, love, funny stories about my mom (past and present), etc.  Mom and I talk about Mom and Kate stuff - work, books, exercise, recipes, love, education, etc.  Glad we have found a system that works and glad to have the quality time with each of them regularly.

Overall, I think I'm making progress.  Would like to Skype with some more friends regularly and need to be better about e-mailing Grandma and Grandpa, but I'm headed in the right direction.  Loving life in Colombia, but it's easier to love when I don't feel so far away from family and friends.

Difficult Questions

I love visiting family and friends and cherish the time I have with folks, but going back home for those few weeks is also tough emotionally.  There are lots of questions asked but lots of unspoken feelings and questions as well.

The doozies:

When are you coming back home?  

Why aren't you working in education HERE, in the U.S.?!  Your own country needs you.

Why Bogotá?!

I know the questions come from a good place.  It's nice to know that I'm missed, that people worry about me and that people think my presence in the U.S. would make a difference.  I also know that for some people the questions are more emotionally charged than actually coming from a logical place.  But the questions are also sometimes hard to handle.  For a few reasons:  1.  I don't know.  2. I don't have a good answer/ the right answer.  3. I feel guilty.  4. I feel attacked/judged/misunderstood/etc.  Still, the questions force me to take some time to reflect and find some answers for myself... here's what I know right now.

I know that I don't know when I'm returning "home".  

Truthfully, I'm not sure where home would be first of all.  And secondly, I'm not sure where my life is going to take me.   Certainly, the house where I grew up will always be considered home and I can always refer to it as home and people understand.  Still, when people ask me about returning "home", I'm quite certain they don't mean "when are you, as a 29-year-old going to go back to living with your parents?".   The question seems to mean when will I return to the States.  That's confusing.  The U.S. is huge.  For me there is not a huge difference between being in Colombia and being in California, or Texas for that matter.  It's a flight away - a 4 hour flight versus a 6 hour flight really doesn't seem like a lot...to me.  

Additionally, if I did return to the United States.  I'm not sure where I'd want to be.  Anywhere I went, I'd have to start fresh.  Yes, there are a handful of cities where I have some good friends - Houston, New York City, Washington, DC...but I'd still have to build a life in this new location and I've done that quite a bit.  I'm actually quite good at it, but frankly, I'm tired of moving so much and would like to just stay put until an opportunity arises that really screams "this is the move you've been waiting for!"

My commitment to education is to a global community, not the U.S.

This is not a very patriotic statement, I understand.  It may even be offensive to some.  Still, I'm fascinated by this shrinking world and all that people can offer each other, if we are just willing to cross borders into different languages, cultures, and understandings about the world in which we live.  I believe education has the power to change a person's life and was motivated to work in education through my time as a tutor in D.C..  My passion grew with my experiences in New Orleans, Houston, Uganda, and South Africa.  My dedication and sense of purpose was developed at Harvard.  And now, in Colombia, I continue to learn about the power of education and find new ways to use my skills to make a difference.  The amount of work to be done is overwhelming and the answers are not going to be found in one place.  I am one small player in this fight to ensure that all children have a quality education in this world.  And I do what I can, where I see a role for me.  I should probably also mention that I do continue to contribute to education reform in the U.S. from over here in Colombia.  I work part time as a consultant and take on work here and there, again, when I see a space that could benefit from what I have to offer.  

Life in Bogotá is simpler.

For sure I make jokes about some of the struggles I've had living in Colombia but at the end of the day, the simplicity of life here makes me a better person, a saner person, a healthier person - a happier person.  I don't have a car and public transportation here is not great.  But I walk...a lot.  I get out of my apartment and into the sunlight.  Sometimes I get caught in downpours, with not a taxi to be found, but when I arrive to my apartment soaking wet - the pleasure I get from that hot shower, those comfy pajamas and that cup of tea are unmeasurable.  Healthcare can sometimes be confusing and frustrating but I've been humbled by the process of navigating a system in what sometimes feels like broken-Spanish and seeing how the majority of the world lives.  I could also choose to pay a bit more to avoid the lines and the chaos, but to see what I've afforded to avoid my whole life has taught me something.  I have more free time.  I work a full-time job which does not require I bring work home.  I have time to explore new hobbies, to travel, to take on additional work (if I so please...which I sometimes do), to plan a Thanksgiving dinner for 20 people, to enjoy an empanada and beer after work with a friend, to date, to exercise, to meditate, to just be.  Finally, every day I am learning.  My Spanish will never be perfect, but it gets closer and closer with each day that passes.  It is so exciting to learn a new phrase and than put it into use immediately.  It is so rewarding to go to dinner with a friend's family and realize at the end of the night that I was able to follow the entire night's conversation and contribute to it.  Bogotá might not be where I settle down permanently but for now life is good here.  I am happy.  

The distance doesn't have to feel so great.

I love my family and friends and cherish the moments I have when we are together.  Traveling makes maintaining these relationships a bit more challenging but it is also because of traveling and taking risks that many of these amazing friendships came to be.  This year my new year's resolution is to be better with my finances so that the distance does not impact these relationships as much.  I don't want to miss out on my best friend's wedding (and would really like to see her second wedding in Macedonia!), missing my grandmother's funeral was terrible, and if Mom, Dad and Bubba decide they want to vacation as a family in some crazy locale, I want to be sure I can swing it.    Still, I plan to make it happen while living here, in my comfortable life in Bogotá.  At least until, something pulls me in another direction.

Culture Shock

So, I've obviously heard about culture shock and experienced it briefly while I was in Florence.  I specifically remember a trip to the grocery store just outside of the city and wanting to buy sugar...but I didn't know the word for sugar and couldn't find anyone in the store who spoke English.  After about 30 minutes of scouring the aisles, I found the sugar in the beverage aisle next to the bottled water.  I mean, what?!?!?

I've been in Colombia about 6 months now, so I figure I'm out of the culture shock zone, right? Wrong.  About two weeks ago I started finding myself feeling frustrated with everything.  My bus is late every day, the Internet isn't dependable, I don't have a bathtub, I just want a gosh darn salad, the traffic is horrendous, teachers spend more time talking than working, my God the RAIN!!!!, my salary is too low, I miss my car, why is the health care system so freaking confusing and why do I have to travel a total of 2+ hours to see a dentist for 10 minutes!?, where are all the brilliant English-speakers who enjoy sitting around and talking about education, love, life, etc., and why is there not a single cutesy coffee shop in this city for me to do my work!?!?!  (Note:  Logically I am aware that some/ the majority of these comments are greatly exaggerated, somewhat insulting, and sound as if I believe Colombia and the U.S. are one and the same....emotionally, none of that matters)

At first I chalked it up to PMS...but PMS doesn't last two weeks...three weeks...  I'm also suuuuupppper tired all the time.  I have a list of things that I want to do - places to visit, things to try, books to read, Spanish to study, friends to write to - but I found myself spending more and more time watching episodes of all my favorite American television programs on Cuevana.tv (and some of my not-so-favorite shows... I mean do I really need to watch Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars?  I'm pretty sure the answer is no).  I can also sleep for 14 hours straight when given the chance.  That is also not normal for me.  Some folks told me before I left that because I'd be spending so much time translating in my head to communicate in Spanish, that I would be very tired, but after six months?  I wasn't so sure.

Last night I began to do some research and I've self-diagnosed myself with culture shock.  Turns out culture shock has several stages.  The first is the honeymoon stage.  This I think is what we all usually experience when we travel - we are excited and in awe of our new environment.  We love learning and trying out a new language, the new scenery is gorgeous, and the food is just so good!  We meet new people and soak up all the glorious novelty of it all...and then come the second stage: negotiation.

According to Wikipedia says (yes, I know, not acceptable for graduate research papers...or any research papers for that matter...but for this situation, it serves my purpose and describes to a tee):

Negotiation phase

After some time (usually around three months, depending on the individual), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. Excitement may eventually give way to unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as one continues to experience unfavorable events that may be perceived as strange and offensive to one's cultural attitude. Language barriers, stark differences in public hygiene, traffic safety, food accessibility and quality may heighten the sense of disconnection from the surroundings.^[4]
While being transferred into a different environment puts special pressure on communication skills, there are practical difficulties to overcome, such as circadian rhythm disruption that often leads to insomnia and daylight drowsiness; adaptation of gut flora to different bacteria levels and concentrations in food and water; difficulty in seeking treatment for illness, as medicines may have different names from the native country's and the same active ingredients might be hard to recognize.
Still, the most important change in the period is communication: People adjusting to a new culture often feel lonely and homesick because they are not yet used to the new environment and meet people with whom they are not familiar every day. The language barrier may become a major obstacle in creating new relationships: special attention must be paid to one's and others' culture-specific body language signs, linguistic faux pas, conversation tone, linguistic nuances and customs, and false friends.

The red, bold, italic, and underlined phrases are those that I can especially relate to.

Now this post is not meant to be a depressing one.  In fact, it is a relief!  I'm not losing my mind and I'm not clinically depressed.  This is normal and according to Wikipedia (and other sources - don't worry) by the time I've reached a year I should feel more like myself and be able to navigate my new country with ease and a sense of normalcy.  I'm also hoping that if anyone out there is every feeling this way when they travel - they will have read this if they are a close friend or it will miraculously appear in Google to help a fellow traveler out.

Until I reach 12 months, I'm trying to stay fully aware of my feelings and why I'm feeling/acting the way that I am.  I'm exercising and eating well.  I'm studying/practicing Spanish to try and overcome some of the more frustrating communication barriers.  I'm setting up Skype dates with friends and family (let me know if you're interested!).  And I'm letting people know what I'm going through so that the friends that I do have here don't abandon me and so I can talk through it and laugh about it, until it disappears.  Still, that doesn't mean I wasn't slightly (okay extremely) perturbed today when I went to school early to play basketball with the girls team only to find after practice (when I begin my weekly pray for hot water) that there was no water...none.  Which meant I didn't get to shower.  It also meant the availability of coffee was limited (you do NOT want to be around me before I've been caffeinated).  Throughout the day the school also lost electricity, followed by Internet...oof. 

Still, a wonderful friend from who lives in Houston, Texas but is from Colombia offered these wise words to help me along:

Do not worry, everyone of us who happens to live in a foreign country has to face the same feelings and cultural shock. You'll survive and the experience will be really wonderful for your life...it also means that you're out of the box. A difficult situation for a little while with the best results for your life. When you are in a foreign country your cultural awareness and background get stronger, and the best of all, you'll begin to see the world in its real dimension. The best for you.

Thanks Stella. :)  I hope to see you soon in Bogotá!

A New Year in Colombia

I flew back to Colombia for the New Year because I didn’t want to miss out on too much.   The holiday was spent at a club in Anapoima with my boyfriend and his family.  (Yes, I currently have a boyfriend but I will not be writing about this in my blog.  If you want to be nosey, I understand, just shoot me an e-mail) :-)

Anyhow, the club was beautiful with pools, bar, restaurant, golf course (I don’t play), and comfortable rooms.  The weather in Anapoima is absolutely perfect – minimal humidity, 80s during the day, high 60s at night, a continuous gentle breeze and beautiful scenery.  We arrived in the afternoon of New Year’s Eve, ate some lunch, took a nap, and then festivities began.  It was nothing out of the ordinary but it was wonderful – great food, drinks, and dancing.  The one thing I have to say about Colombian events is that there is always good music and everyone dances – like really dances with real steps and turns, etc.  It is so much fun.  Was nervous to spend so much time with Juan Carlos’ family but they were a hoot – and I some how managed to hold my own with my Spanish.  I think this is a good sign – I’m actually learning Spanish!  Who would have thought?!

We spent another two days in Anapoima sleeping lots, eating well, and enjoying the sun.  It was an excellent way to kick off 2012.

Happy New Year to all.  Let’s make it the best year yet…seeing that according to the Mayans it’s our last. ;-)

Juan Carlos and I at the New Year's Eve celebration

With Juan Carlos' family

I’ll Be Home for Christmas…

Was home for 10 days to celebrate Christmas with the family and to attend my cousin Casey’s wedding.  While I originally was not planning on returning to the States during my two years in Colombia, it was so nice to be home (even if it was for a very short visit).

Highlights:

·      Casey and Andrea’s wedding.  Absolutely beautiful, the service was only 20 minutes (nice work you two), and the reception was a blast.

·      Seeing tons of family and friends.  Shout out to Pears for flying to Connecticut to visit.  Shout out to Aunt Cathy for another delicious Christmas dinner.  Shout out to Silent Thunder (you know who you are) for becoming the new World Champion of Rummy 500.

·      Snow.  It was only flurries in Upstate New York, but I’ll take it.

·      BATH TUB!  Colombians just don’t know what they are missing.  There is nothing like a hot bubble bath to help you relax.

·      Went to the city with the family to see On A Clear Day… with Harry Connick Jr.  Great time with the family and a good show.

·      Driving.  TUK is out of commission because I took of the insurance on him when I moved.  Still it was great to get in a car and drive (and sing at the top of my lungs, of course).

·      Thanksgiving dinner x 2.  Both Grandma Naylor and mom feed me a delicious meal that included turnips and pumpkin pie with homemade whipped cream to make up for the fact that I was not home in November. YUM!

·      Electric blanket.  I received a lot of awesome gifts but as I’m writing up this blog, I’m lying in bed SO grateful to have this new electric blanket to protect me from the wet cold that often invades Bogotá.

The Cottrell cousins at Casey's wedding

So much to be thankful for!

So it was definitely a bit sad when Thanksgiving arrived and I found myself riding in the van to school - the only one aware that this very big holiday was in progress.   I found myself missing turnips (that Grandma Naylor makes special for me...because I think I might be the only one in the family who eats them); missing walks in the woods bundled up with hats, gloves, and scarf; and missing the same family stories that are told every year and somehow seem to get funnier with each telling of them.

Still, as it is a day to give thanks - there is certainly a lot that I am thankful for.  I made sure to use this day to let all my students know what it is about them that I am most thankful for.  I wrote them each a thank you note and before I passed out the note I explained what the holiday is all about.  They loved it - and many of them took the time to say what they were thankful too.

Also, I wasn't alone for the holiday.  My cousin Drew flew down to visit during his long weekend (Wednesday through Sunday).  It was so nice to see a familiar face and not feel like I was totally isolated from the Naylor/Cottrell clans.  I signed him up for an all-day tour of the city on Thursday because I had to work and then on Friday he came to school with me and helped teach 3 of my classes.  So fun!  Every night we went out for great Colombian food, drinks, and fun.  On Saturday, what was supposed to be a quick lunch up in the mountains turned into a road trip because on our way down the road was blocked so we had to drive an hour away from the city before we could connect to another road that would lead us home.  It ended up being an awesome addition to Drew's trip, as he got to see the Colombian countryside.  So thankful for Drew's visit, as sharing with someone else reminds you of all the wonderful things that you have in your life.

I've also been overwhelmed by life lately.  This is the time of the year where the work starts piling up - there are holiday parties, Secret Santa games, final exams (which means LOTS of grading), Christmas shopping, packing, I've also squeezed in a visit to Ecuador scheduled for December 7.  So what does this have to do with being thankful?  Well, the reason that a lot of the work is becoming overwhelming is because I have developed a nice little network of friends here.  I now have lots of plans each week - and so the quiet nights I used to have at home are dwindling.  I am back to needing to work on the balance - but I so thankful that I have wonderful people to experience Colombia with!

Return to the Homeland

After four wonderful years in Houston, I have made the long haul back up to New England and have settled into my new home in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

I LOVE it! I ride my bike everywhere (or walk). The weather is amazing (for now). My baby brother is living in Boston (although he's not really a baby - more like 22, has a job, and doesn't need me at all - except to borrow my car). And I keep meeting amazing people.

Here are some pics of my new place for those who are curious - you really need to visit to truly understand the magic of this place.

Will see you all soon!

Sorry I have not posted anything in nearly two weeks. I have SO much to share but have not figured out how to articulate all my experiences clearly. Upon my return to the States I will add several posts to highlight the big stuff.

Tonight is my last night in Gulu. There has already been a flood of tears - I hate goodbyes (and see you laters)! We are having a big dinner and then head to Jinja for the weekend to go rafting on the Nile. I will have lots to share about that experience I am sure.

I arrive in New York on Monday night, will stay the night with my college roommate, KA, and then will be flying into Houston on Tuesday afternoon (7/28).

Looking forward to seeing everyone and sharing lots of photos and stories!